Does there have to be a reason?

The other day a friend and I were chatting away online and he said he had just been for a long drive in the rain and was feeling quite pleased that he had done it. I reminded him that the weather was particularly bad and the conditions must have been not conducive to driving pleasure but he just rebutted my remarks and said that he enjoyed the trip regardless. "Did you see anything interesting?",  I asked. "No, not really" He answered. He was just happy to get out have the experience regardless of the outcome or the conditions and I completely understood.

A few days later I was talking to a friend about a movie she had gone to see. She said it was not a movie that she would recommend, or one that had been recommended to her, in fact several people had warned her that it was no Oscar winner and a waste of time and money. She went anyway. I asked her did she enjoy herself and she smiled and said yes because it had caught her eye and she wanted to see it regardless.

It started me thinking about how instinctively we try to attach meaning to things and very often we try to attach huge meaning to things rather than just enjoy them for what they are; even their meaninglessness.

Of the 100 billion people who have once lived on this planet, very few rose to become "famous" or great historical characters. They have mostly been "normal" individuals, like you and I, who did their best to meet the challenges of life. Some died early and some died horribly. So what is the point or meaning of life for the vast majority of us who roam the planet for awhile before we die? Well I have started to ask the question does there have to be a reason?. Cant we enjoy the time we have for what it is? Do we have to reach some pinnacle of wealth or greatness in order to enjoy living or be validated?
As I grow older and have less need to impress people or be impressed by people (although I consider everyone interesting) I have come to the conclusion that there is a gift and a blessing in having lived an average life, spent time with other average people and doing those average things that make up life. I believe I will die happy and fulfilled without ever rising to celebrity or collecting any accolades.

I have reached the conclusion that if I don't get to cure cancer, fix the environment, become president or have rich offspring, it will all have been worth it just to see what makes up a life. To experience the pain, anguish, happiness, laughter, love, failure and everything else that can happen to a human being and meet some interesting people along the way.

Is it just me, or is that enough for you too?

I wish my Nana looked like a dog

I was sitting at a cafe recently, enjoying my coffee in the sunshine when I had no idea what was about to happen would send me spiraling off into another one of my thinking coma's where I spend days, even weeks, withdrawn into myself and turning a topic over and over and... well, you get the idea.

I sat soaking in the sunshine and coffee when a lady walked past with a cute and newly groomed dog that made everyone turn and burst out with accolades and excitement. Not one head didn't turn. Not one face didn't light up with joy. The owner of this cute and coiffed little companion was just beaming with pride. It really was a lovely postcard moment. While all this was happening along came a man pushing his disabled companion in a wheelchair. As he tried to navigate his way through the happy throng. Smiles were deflating and replaced by awkward stares as the man and his wheelchair asked politely, and somewhat embarrassingly to be allowed pass. Slowly people cleared a path and the couple moved slowly by without so much as a smile or a polite hello. Once seated they waited patiently for a waiter to come and take their order as she was clearly distracted and occupied by the furry visitor. And then it hit me. "Are we prouder of, and kinder to our pets than we are of our disabled, elderly and chronically ill?"

The internet groans under the weight of pictures of adored pets and their proud owners. They are clearly entrenched in the modern family and billions of dollars are spent globally on our 'fur kids'.  As I go through the photo albums of my friends on facebook I quickly lose count of all the pictures of sleeping cats and barking dogs but where are pictures of handicapped friends, elderly loved ones and visits with chronically ill relatives? Perhaps I am over simplifying but I am sure you are starting to see my point, yes? No? Ok, well here is another example. Recently on my facebook feeds there was a post about a raising funds for a dog who urgently needed a walking frame. Funds came pouring in and a follow up picture of the dog in his new walking frame hit nearly 500,000 'likes' and adoring comments.  We contrast that to the way in which newly disabled individuals fight for acceptance and validation from a society that doesn't seem as adoring or proud of them. Although pets can't cook, clean, pay taxes or mow the lawn, we certainly don't think less of them. We will still walk them proudly down the street. Not so true for many of our disabled, elderly and chronically ill. Once they become less able to fulfill our expectations and meet society's demands then they become less appreciated.

I am an animal lover myself and am proud of every one of my furry children. They are so easy to love as they offer us unconditional love and a much needed furry hug when we need it most, but I am sure that a disabled love one and/or chronically ill relative has jut as much to offer and a wealth of love and wisdom. The way we value the sick, disabled and elderly is indication of us as a society and I think therefore there is a lot we need to address.

I posed this question in another forum recently and was bombarded with indignant comments arguing that we have done much to raise the profile for the sick, disabled and the elderly through the introduction of the Paralympics, mini me and Darth Vader but I remain unconvinced. I was even told that our pets are more loveable because they don't moan or argue or have human characteristics. A truly shocking comment which staggers belief. I truly think if we visited the nursing homes, the rehab hospitals and the palliative care wards we would struggle to feel that we value these individuals who battle some of the most difficult and challenging times of life.

"The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that’s wrong with the world."

 Is it just me, or do you agree this needs to change?

To volunteer, or not to volunteer; That is the question.

I was speaking to a girlfriend recently who was proudly informing me that she has decided to ask her 15 year old son to find a casual job and start learning to save money for life after living at home, or hopefully, a college education. She believed it was time and a pivotal part of his life education.

As she extolled the virtues of obtaining a job at a young age as the launch pad of future employment it occurred to me that many parents are focusing on teaching the importance of employment and gaining material goals without addressing the need for nurturing empathy and humanity at a young age.

As a young person I remember my mother volunteering my services to many 'causes' and family members, most probably as a cheap way of keeping me occupied and entertained, but what I gained during these times gave me skills in later life that I believe were invaluable. I learned compassion while I helped my grandmother in her garden. I learned patience as I helped my neighbor clean out their garage. And I learned humility as I stood on the corner raising funds for school children in the Pacific. I have to admit that at first I resented my mother for volunteering me without consulting me, however, I learned to enjoy talking, joking and laughing while scrubbing, polishing, sweeping and painting. There was something life affirming about these tasks... and usually a treat or a tidbit from a thankful recipient.

As I hear my friends describe the trials and tribulations of parenting, I am concerned that there is no trace of these activities in the youth of today. Amongst the long list of activities, hobbies, sports and interests, that the average young person gets to enjoy these days how many young people donate ANY of their time selflessly for the benefit of others?
Amongst the many worthy causes or charities out there that are endlessly asking for money, help or assistance, how many of our children and young adults have assisted these causes in any way?

Empathy, selflessness and humanity are such important qualities to our existence and need to be instilled in our young people at the same time as we teach them other important life skills. If we don't fulfill this responsibility for our young people what type of society are we creating for future generations? What type of presidents, doctors, teachers, public policymakers are we unleashing on the world? How many caring institutes and organisations will exist to help anyone in need in the future?

Is it just me, or do you think this should be important too?